I have been having a hard time with the whole self image thing. I have for the longest time thought "I don't care what I look like because I am not trying to impress anyone and if they don't like me for who I am than they can deal with it." Well that is all fine and dandy but lately I have started thinking a lot about my future and marriage. I want to meet someone and graduate and live happy ever after. Well with that comes the lies Satan feeds you. Since I started thinking about marriage and my future Satan has started telling me that I am not good enough and that because I am not skinny no one will want to date me. I have been telling myself that it isn't true and that I am loved and that God is the only opinion that matters but Satan is speaking a whole lot louder. It is hard to try to fight him off. I am working on it though.
Then there is this whole negativity thing I have going on. I tend to be negative most of the time. I am working on it but it is something that is going to take more time. I am just having to work on it slowly but right now I feel like Satan has a hold of me this way too.
I just want to be FREE! Free from all of this that Satan has a hold of. Free from all the drama in my life that seems to overwhelm me and take me over.
Then tonight was probably one of the hardest nights of my life. I had to chose to do what was right even though I think I might have made someone I care about mad at me. I just didn't know what to do and I think I did the right thing. This is where the drama comes in. I just want to be free from it all. I am choosing to let it go and let God work through this situation.
LET GO AND LET GOD! I just have to keep telling myself that. No matter what Satan is telling me, no matter what people are telling me, no matter what happens I can't change the past and I must remember to let it go and let God work in it all.
2 comments:
Heather - this is good. Maybe it's not about being skinny but it's about being healthy. And it's not about being negative but it's about being joyful. We all know our own bodies. We know what it feels like to be healthy - or not. Really we know what it takes to get there. Healthy -eat right/exercise/rest Joyful - sometimes it's simply a choice. A choice to choose the right words to say - a choice to smile instead of frown - a choice to listen instead of speak. Slow down. We need to learn to be at peace instead of at war with ourselves. Let's work on this! I need to exercise. Let's walk together. As we walk we can talk. All these things are wrapped up in knowing who we are in God - in that relationship. He wants the best for us - His best - because that's what will draw others to Him. I know exactly where you're coming from. For the longest time Satan had a hold on me too with the whole body image/negativity thing. I am free, my friend. I'm excited about this.
I can honestly tell you that sometimes I look in the mirror and I find that I'm in a fight to make the mirror happy.
I just want to be beautiful.
God makes me beautiful. He adores me. He brings me back to glory. Who I am is quite enough for Him. He makes me worthy of love.
I'm finally free from the nasty words Satan whispers to me about how I look. I'm not of this world. My desires and hopes aren't of this world. I don't have to look like the world tells me I should. Because my hopes and desires are in Him.
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing" - Zephaniah 3:17
You ARE beautiful.
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